There are so many lies connected to Scientology and it’s Founder, L Ron Hubbard, that it has been mind-boggling for me to list them all, let alone determine which are the most disgusting lies.   My blog article:  Over the Edge: The True Story of Scientology- Minus the Smoke and Mirrors, merely scratches the surface:

The first episode of Season Two- Scientology Aftermath, opened my eyes to the most reprehensible of all abuses; children being molested, pedophiles protected and gross violations of child labor laws.

The cover-up was so ingenious, I was blind to its existence the entire 25 years I was in the Sea Org.   Children working was made to look like it was for their own good; they needed to do something to contribute otherwise they would be “out-exchange” and eventually become criminals. Yet, as it turns out, the Church of Scientology was protecting criminals of the worst kind!

All their lies, crimes and policies related to the aforementioned, revolve around image. The “Ethics Officer”, “arbitration” clause in all their contracts and the “non-disclosure agreements” anyone leaving is required to sign (if they want to be deemed in “good standing” and get their meager pay out of $500), are designed to prevent anything damaging from being exposed publicly, let alone, becoming public record.

As regards the IAS Administrations, where I raised millions in funds over a period of 15 years, they are especially touchy about image.   Specfically, they never even alluded to the fact that children were used to renovate the “IAS Funded” CCHR Headquarters.

Also, worthy of note, I nearly got busted off my post for having accepted a donation for the IAS from a Scientologist who, unbeknownst to me, was a reformed pedophile, just released from prison, having served the full term of his sentence.   The reason…they didn’t want their image damaged by virtue of connection to this “criminal”.

The irony; a so-called “church” lying, even worse, protecting pedophiles.  So much for their policy “Never use lies in PR”!


A few days ago, while listening to the radio while driving home from a meeting, I was privileged to hear an anecdote regarding a “one question exam in a business college”.

I was so taken aback that I searched the internet for the article so I could share it on Facebook.   The link to it is:

Here is an excerpt from the article:

“The teacher handed out the final exam, and it was on one piece of paper, which really surprised me because I figured it would be longer than that. Once everyone had their paper, he said, ‘Go ahead and turn it over.’ Both sides were blank.”

Next, the professor said: “I’ve taught you everything I can teach you about business in the last 10 weeks, but the most important message, the most important question, is this: What’s the name of the lady who cleans this building?”

The message was clearly:  “You should never lose sight of people who do the real work”

For those of you who know at least some part of my story,  I would imagine that you understand the significance this holds for me.

Thirty-seven years of my life,  I was heavily involved in the Church of Scientology; 35 years on staff, 25 of that in the Sea Org- a virtual slave labor camp, 20 of that as a fundraiser; I experienced the direct opposite of that.

I was indeed “Over the Edge: A Pawn in the Scientology Money Machine”, thus the title of my autobiography, estimated release date, Sept 1, 2017, the 5th anniversary of my public resignation from the Church of Scientology.

There’s a particular drill we did as part of some Scientology courses, referred to as the “What do you do” drill.     If this so-called “Church” was actually legitimate and had any good sense, they would do this one:

“Your staff are falling ill, some even dying of cancer, due to mental and physical abuse, lack of exercise and proper nutrition and supplements, and funds not provided for proper preventative measures and medical care.  You have one of two choices.

“One is: As soon as a worker becomes an encumberance, kick him/her to the curb and replace with someone who has the stamina to work.

“The other is: fully inspect and evaluate the situation and do whatever it takes to provide every single person a decent quality of life.

“What do you do?”

My answer, if the organization was of actual benefit to society, and if I was the “person in charge”,  I’d opt for the later and revamp the way finances are handled throughout the entire organization.  This would include not granting anyone special privilige in terms of pay, meals, lodging, uniforms, etc., myself included.

I wouldn’t do as David Miscavige is doing, living high on the hog, with a 6 digit paycheck every year, 4 digits on just one suit, millions on his own personal quarters, gourmet meals, and the list goes on.

Countless people have suffered, let alone died, due to his narcissictic behavior and utter neglect.    I doubt he ever had sight of the people who do the real work.  His only interest has been the monster he sees when he looks in the mirror.

Its a moot point, but what the heck, at least I have clarity on where my own head is at when it comes to truly caring about the welfare of others.

Kay Rowe



The following are a couple excerpts from my book related to my experience with W.I.S.E. I believe this proves beyond any reasonable doubt that it is a front group for the Church of Scientology.

From “Over the Edge-Q&A”

“My very first Sea Org Mission was with a Messenger who has long since left the CofS and in fact is a friend of mine to this day.   If I recall correctly, we went into a renowned WISE Group to investigate, set them straight and get their ethics in due to a PR flap they created.  They had donated their payroll to the IAS so when payday came along, their employees, even though most were Scientologists, were quite upset.

In hindsight I now see this as more about the PR than about what they did to create the situation.   Of course, they wanted them to donate the funds, no matter how.  And if there had not been a flap, there would not have been a need to send in a Mission.”

From: Over the Edge: Chapter 16-Culture Shock

“The owner of the consulting company where I worked had allegedly been a bad boy: he’d had an affair with a Sea Org member some years earlier, and presumably only escaped expulsion from the church by making substantial donations.

It seemed to me that he was going to great lengths to appease church authorities. He gave several Sea Org members carte blanche to “set up shop” on the company premises, to interview and seek donations from employees and clients (many of whom were not Scientologists).

One of these Sea Org members was the head of the eastern U.S. branch of WISE (World Institute of Scientology Enterprises – Scientology’s official business-people’s association). This guy even managed to get me assigned to work on a special project for him. I was supposed to convince business owners (our consulting clients) to purchase memberships in WISE. Once signed up, the next step was to get them to apply for a special-recognition award. Getting lots of new members and awardees in his territory would be a big feather in the WISE guy’s cap.

I got rolling on the project, but it was immediately obvious that it was going to interfere with my actual job. Further, my involvement opened the door to this WISE exec contacting me directly, whenever he wanted, whether I was at the office or not.

Almost none of my clients were Scientologists. Yes, they had studied some Scientology materials about organization and administration, and were happily applying these to their businesses – but most had little to no interest in becoming Scientologists, paying for membership in WISE, or receiving any WISE awards.

Up until the WISE involvement entered the picture, I had loved my job. I’d felt I was in my element, clients gave me phenomenal reviews, and the owner and execs at the company had taken quite favorable notice of my work.

However, to keep the peace, I had no choice but to use any spare time during my working day to try to drum up new WISE members and potential awardees, one-hundred awardees to be exact. As I recall, I had just a few months to sign up the expected number, and even that short time would be broken up by the holiday season.

Once the holidays were over, there was a fresh round of confrontations and demanding emails from the head of WISE. When he flat-out insulted me in one email, I brought the matter to the attention of my direct senior. To my great relief, work on the project was reassigned to someone else.

My concerns about the WISE guy weren’t over, though. He began attending some of our weekly staff meetings, and addressing us as a group, despite the fact that some of our staff were not Scientologists. In one such meeting, he stated flatly that the reason for our company’s existence was “to fund the Ideal Orgs of the Church of Scientology.” I was stunned. What could the non-Scientologists present have thought of that? It seemed I should do something about it, but because I was already in some disfavor over the WISE project re-assignment, I just took a deep breath and said nothing. Again, I loved my job, and didn’t want to jeopardize it.

As time went on, though, I came to the conclusion that I should leave the company and move back to California. A number of events and concerns contributed to this decision. The trouble at work over the WISE project was one.”


When I kicked off on writing my book, I wasn’t totally set on publishing it.  I was more interested in the therapeutic value; my past was still haunting me to some degree and I wanted closure.

However, the closer I got to completing it, the more I connected with people who were traumatized by their experiences with the Church of Scientology.  My heart went out to them and I made a firm decision to publish my book, to help them and others harmed, get closure.

I then connected with some very key people in the process, Chris Shelton and Jeffrey Augustine, in particular. Conversations with them gave me a further boost and I soon took to some serious blogging and posting of my articles on Facebook.

The feedback and input I received moved me up several notches, well beyond closure for me and those who have been harmed.  That said, I have now fully committed myself to being an integral part of the movement to wake up people who are still under the spell of the Scientology cult and to get justice on behalf of all those who suffered abuse.

But my mission is not just Scientology related, it goes well beyond that.

In more general terms, what I want to achieve by sharing my story is to make a positive difference in the lives of many people.

I want to inspire people to courageously face – and remove themselves from – any unhealthy situation they may be wrapped up in. It might be an addiction, an abusive personal relationship…or toxic devotion to a harmful cult.  

Beyond that, I want to help people embrace diversity, rather than being judgmental, intolerant or unforgiving, (when appropriate, seeing that a narcissist is usually unworthy of any of the aforementioned) through the understanding that there are reasons why each of us live our lives as we do. And just because something is different doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Just because a person does something that turns out to be harmful, it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is evil through and through, and can never change.

Kay M. Rowe


Here’s an update on my book, soon to be available on Amazon, estimated date- Sept 1st.

First off, I decided to change the title to “Over the Edge: A Pawn in the Scientology Money Machine”.  As much as I liked “Under Pressure: Memoirs of a Former Scientology Fundraiser”, I wasn’t feeling the love.

This change came about as a result of connecting with some very awesome people on FB who share views similar to mine, two in particular, Chris Shelton and Jeffrey Augustine.

As you may know, Chris did a video interview with me which aired on July 20. This inspired me to get active blogging again.  

As a result of sharing my blog articles on FB and the input I received,  I got further inspired, which resulted in a second video interview which aired on August 10.

Meanwhile, I was in touch with my sister in law,  who was key to me writing my story to begin with, to keep her apprised on the status of my book.

I told her I was in a quandary on the title and shared some of my revelations with her.  A short while after we got of the phone, she called me and said the magic word, “Pawn”.

From there I google searched the definition and discovered “Pawn” nailed it.  Here’s what I found and I think you will agree.

“The definition of a pawn is a person or thing manipulated and used by others, or a game piece in the game of chess. A person unwittingly used in a scheme and taken advantage of by others is an example of a pawn. A chess piece that has the least value to the player is an example of a pawn.”

“8 July 24, 2013

A person who is said to be a pawn is being manipulated in an expendable manner.  It’s a negative connotation typically directed at someone who blindly follows, and to use another phrase, “falls in line” against this person’s own interests.” samir_naganaworkhere

As many have come to realize, there’s a lot more than meets the eye when it comes to Scientology.  That’s a very broad statement, and no, I’m not going to cover all aspects in this blog article.  My focus will be on Scientology’s exploitation of the elderly.

Speaking from direct personal experience and observation, there is no real love from the Church of Scientology for their devotees.   Its is truly all about the money and/or free labor which translates to money.

Every single Scientologist, whether a public, staff or Sea Org member are wide open targets to be exploited for everything they have and more, elderly not excepted.

In a lecture entitled “Money”, L Ron Hubbard made a statement to the effect of “Everyone has an Uncle George”, to drive the point home that there is no acceptable excuse to to not collect money from everyone, including those who don’t actually have any to give.

My training in Sales and as a Scientology Fundraiser included this concept. In fact, on the later, we were grilled “reg everyone in sight and get something from everyone”. When someone made it very clear they couldn’t, we were to virtually interrogate them to find out what resources they may have access to so they could “make it go right”.

From my perspective, if there was any encouragement to maintain good relations with one’s family, it was an alterior motive to keep them available as a resource for funds.   That said, I was recently informed of at least 2 instances where people who were out of Scientology had family members who were still in, cozying up with them, and no sooner did they get their goods, they disconnected.

As a personal note, I was fortunate in that I resigned from Scientology long before my mother passed, thus they didn’t get a dime of my mother’s assets.  But even if I had still been a devotee when she passed, they wouldn’t have reaped any benefits.   You see, my mother was smarter than they might have expected.  She left instructions to my siblings that if there was anything left of her assets to divey up, I was not to get anything if I was still in the Church of Scientology.    She added, “It’s not that I don’t love her. I do, she’s my daugher.  But I just know that she’ll never see a dime of it, they will take it all.”  So true!

But how about the flip side?   You’re the one who is being cut off, not just socially, but financially as well.  Note:  Most are not concerned about the money aspect of this.  The most important thing is something money can’t buy, and that is love.

The Church has convinced them that they have no need for you, that you’re a hindrance to their spiritual advancement.   But the truth, the Church is worried that if they remain connected to you, at some point they could very well turn and join you outside the Scientology bubble.  But more to the point, Scientology doesn’t want to lose any potential financial resource.

Imagine this.  Your mother is in the Sea Org.   She’s got her room and board covered and clothing too, for that matter, as she mostly wears a uniform.  If she happens to have assets she is stripped of them, more often than not, gradually, but sometimes in one full swoop, depending on how desperate the registrar is.  Every new release, she’s a prime candidate, anytime a quota has to me bet before anyone can got to bed, she’s top of the list.

Due to some unfortunate turn of events, she falls ill or has an accident. No need to call you, especially seeing that you are “persona non grata”.  Heaven forbid, the church may have to dole out some money to get her proper care.  However, if she has any funds left, these go to financing her care, unless in some rare instance, there are funds alloted for it by the church.

She’s not able to hold a post any longer, but they still milk her for whatever they can, writing letters, stamping envelopes, etc.  They make it as easy for her as possible by bringing the supplies to her elderly dorm and picking up the finished project once completed.

A bit more time passes, her imminent death is forcasted, and someone in the church goes out of their way to be sure any remaining assets she has are willed to Scientology.

Sadly, that is what happens to the elderly who have resources.   As for the one’s who don’t, they are neglected.  In fact, in my second to last year in the Sea Org (2008) I was buddied up on the “Decks Program” with a gal who had been the Deputy Medical Officer for the base.

My understanding was that she was removed from her post because she disagreed with being ripped away from her duties to do fundraising and L Ron Hubbard Book and Lecture Sales.   She truly cared about the elderly and saw that they were already being neglected and needed more care, not less, but no matter to the powers that be,  money was more important.

My heart goes out to these dear people who were brainwashed into thinking that devoting their lives to Scientology, even at the expense of their families and their health was for the greater good.

The Church of Scientology is every bit as bad as the con artists who prey on the elderly with fictitious “IRS Bills” and other fake “debts” and “causes”.

It’s high time for justice!

Kay M Rowe







In the 37 years that I was a Scientologist, 35 of that on staff, 25 in the Sea Org, I had many more lows than highs, but kept at it regardless.

I was convinced that whatever I considered wrong with the organization was due to my own transgressions against it and that leaving would be a betrayal of the worst kind, not only to Scientology, but to all mankind.

So I hung in there for years, putting into application everything I had learned to “fix it”.   But no matter what I did, it all came back to me being the “bad guy”.  My introspection, trying to figure out what I had done wrong, eventually put me over the edge emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

The beginning of the end was right on the heels of the “Wake-Up Call” issued by David Miscavige, the leader of Scientology.   I was an IAS Fundraiser at that time and had been for nearly 10 years.  But even as experienced as I was, his demands for 10X expansion, straight up and verticle with multiple fundraising campaigns conflicting the devotees as to which one was the most important, was an impossible task.   I could not win for losing.

Consequently, the threats and penalties for not making one’s quotas also marketly increased.   I was already in a decline with the need for medical care, due to crippling bunions on both feet.  Yet, I was not spared from the pressure.

Finally I became so broken that I started thinking I must be a hypochondriac.  I was in and out of free service clinics and hospitals countless times only to exit without an “acceptable” diagnosis, let alone, remedy.   Often times, the doctors would call it stress related and advise nutritious meals, supplements, sufficient rest and regular exercise.   These of course, were not under my control and got brushed off.

This stretched on for years, with post changes that were supposed to lessen the intensity, not making any difference.  There was an insistence that I had to be a fundraiser and the pressure was relentless.  I was so miserable and in so much pain I couldn’t get a decent night’s sleep even on the rare occasion when I was allowed to.   More clinic and hospital visits didn’t change it.

After years of this, I reached my breaking point.  I felt hopeless and couldn’t see anything worth living for.  I wanted to die!   I was not suicidal, I merely wanted the test results from the hospital to be a terminal illness with X number of weeks left to live.  In fact, just prior to going to the hospital that day, I got the contact information for my family up to date and wrote my last will and testament.

While waiting for the outcome,  I decided I should call my sister.  Before doing so I worked out how to tell her that I may not be around much longer in such a way to not make Scientology look bad.   Using a phone card, I called her from a pay phone. Surpisingly enough, she took it well and told me she’d hold me in prayer.

When the results came back with no incurable illness, I was actually disappointed.   My thoughts- I would have to drag myself back to the hell I had a brief time out from.

Somehow I carried on, surviving as best I could as painful and hopeless as it was.  Finally I did get out and I have never looked back.   I’m happy to say, I am in decent health too. Imagine that!   According to L Ron Hubbard, my “suppressive act” of publicly resigning should have resulted in a debilitating illness or death, long since.

My mission now is to get my story out and help create an exodus from this cult, as well as justice for all who have been abused.

Thanks for reading this and for your support.

It is so good to be alive!!

Kay M Rowe