Many of you know my story, however, a great many don’t so I’d like to share something rather personal in hopes of inspiring you and making a difference for the better. I live a rather simple life so in that vein I will keep this brief and to the point…

My life started a little over 61 years ago in a small Suburb of Detroit, in a rather large lower class family with parents stressed out more often than not over the subject of money and the lack thereof.

In hopes of a better life I left home at age 17, moved to Santa Barbara, Ca and stayed with relatives until 18 when I went off “on my own”.

After a year or two of meandering around trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, I was introduced to Scientology, a so-called “Non-Profit” group that was going to “save the world”.

I worked on its staff for 35 years, 25 years of it in a virtual slave labor camp (the Sea Organization).  At year 33, after a bout of not being paricularly suicidal, but wanting to die, I had a rude awakening while recovering from my 2nd surgery (July 2008) while roomed with another Sea Org member who was dying of 4th stage cancer.

Her words to me were “if there is anything I regret it’s that I haven’t seen my family in years and probably won’t see them before I pass”.   Apparently, her family hadn’t been notified of her imminent death, let alone that she had been diagnosed months earlier.

Right then and there it hit me. “That could be me dying here.  I haven’t seen half my family in 16 years, 30 years since I last visited the others.”

It took another 18 months before I set the wheels in motion to officially “retire” from its staff.  What held me back was that I needed a neck surgery, due to an injury I sustained while working, that had the potential of leaving me paralized for life.   Having only been paid a meager allowance all those years,  I had nothing to fall back on and social security at most would provide me $400 per month.

Having healed from my 3rd surgery, fortunately a success, I couldn’t bring myself to leave.  I was so broken, I didn’t know how I would survive out in the “real world”.   Sure, my family would’ve taken me in and helped me get on my feet.  But I had burnt that bridge, as far as I was concerned, besides the teachings of Scientology, engrained in my head, had aliented me from “non-Scientologists” and that very much included my family.

My last and final wake up call came at the tail end of 2009, at Scientology’s New Year’s event at the Shrine Auditorium in L.A.  Despite doctors’ orders to the contrary, I was made to stay on my feet for extended periods to the point where I could barely walk. Further I had somehow gotten the flu, had a fever and was congested.

That being the case, I was able to go back to the base, straight to an “isolation dorm”. Away from the stress and of my assigned “fundraiser” position and finally being able to get sufficient rest, I recovered from my illness.   I was also able to clear my head of the thoughts that were holding me back from leaving and worked out a plan.

Five months later, after completing a very long check-list of actions required for me to leave “in good standing” I was officially granted the right to “retire” from the “Sea Org”. However, still being a Scientologist, I was expected to contribute.

Age 55, a single woman, $500 to my name (I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement to get that), no job, no car, no place to live, I stepped into society and began my re-boot.   The words that best describe this phase of my life- Culture Shock!

Fast forward to May 2014… I wound up in Omaha where I came to know and become friends with some of the most incredible people to date through and in short order launched myself into a more fitting profession for my personality- Realtor.  Recently, in addition to publishing my autobiography, “Over the Edge- A Pawn in the Scientology Money Machine” (see links below this paragraph to purchase POD or Kindle versions), I landed a position as a Rep for a company that provides Mobile Dental Care (and other Healthcare Services) to the elderly in skilled nursing facilities.

CreateSpace eStore:

In looking back I realize that I have never been bereft of “support” even if only moral, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a couch to sleep on and last but not least, a Higher Power, family and friends to watch over me. Which brings me to this…

It is my belief that People (guided by whatever spiritual source is real for each individual) are the most important element in all of our lives, not machines, nor pets (that’s debatable) and least of all, not money.   True all these things have value, but not even close to that of loving, kind and understanding Higher Power (again whatever is real and true for you), family, friends, associates and all other people connections.

We- the People are what makes the world continue to go round and round and that will always be the case- well, at least that is what is true for me.

So, what’s the underlying reason for what I do, not to mention, posting anecdotes and articles, sharing songs and soon producing multiple podcasts?…

To be an invaluable source of support and as such help others enjoy a higher quality of life, the kind of life I didn’t have for the majority of mine and have only recently been getting a glimpse of.

And I try my very best to follow the path of the Golden Rule and pay it forward as often as I can.  I believe in kindness and all things that lead each and everyone of us to a prosperous and much more pleasurable existence.

So, there you have it!

Best to all of you!

Kay M Rowe

P.S. You can find many more of my blog articles at:



First a thanks to David Litton for the Podcast Interview and to Karen De La Carriere for introducing us.  I’m still getting used to the fact that I published my autobiography and in doing so, exposed the truth about a so-called religion that is factually a cult. I was a bit nervous at the start of the interview, but that soon came to pass and I believe it turned out pretty good!

Please have a listen, give your feedback and ask me any questions you may have:

Top customer reviews

on October 15, 2017
Format: Paperback|Verified Purchase

As a former staff member of the church, I know too well the constant demands to generate income for the organization as well as the intense pressure there was on the receiving end. I was in for 25 years and thought the IAS organization was on the up-and-up in the good they were doing for society so the “high pressure” sales were “worth it” for the greater good.

Kay lays out beautifully why one would be attracted to the church and its declared missions and how one can become trapped in its belief system. She indeed brought out it’s darker side and how the lack of caring for the individual, especially those most dedicated to the cause through the Sea Organization, are only pawns in the system. I see how we can become blinded because while we want to believe we are indeed doing good for society, our individual grievances take a lesser role and we justify our complaints by being less important and significant. The amount of physical and emotional pain endured by Kay and other members is difficult to comprehend.

Kay is very forthright and candid about her experiences and indeed sheds light in my opinion on the most ruthless fundraisers with the church’s organization, the IAS. I thank and applaud Kay for speaking out and telling her story. I’m thrilled she has a bright and shiny future ahead of her.

The bottomline purpose of publishing my book is and always will be to make a difference for the better in the lives of as many people as possible.

I believe my story has a powerful message and if not for that I wouldn’t have invested the time, energy and funds over the past two years to finally get to the point of releasing it on Oct 6, 2017.

That said, I want to get my book into as many channels as possible, the sooner, the better.   I’m already onto lining up Podcasts and reaching out to get on various TV talk shows.

In addition to the above I want to do “Book Release and Tips on How to Write Your Story” Events in my existing and old stomping grounds, across the U.S.  In case anyone wants a signed book, I can do that too.   But my focus is on helping folks commence writing their story so they can experience the therapeutic value of doing so.

I would appreciate any input and/or help in hosting these events as well as recommendations for channels I can get my story onto.



In case anyone is wondering, I didn’t write my story and publish it for fame and fortune.

On the contrary, I expect I’ll be lucky if I recap the $5k I’ve invested thus far, not counting the time I dedicated to it over the past 2 years.

Further, I didn’t publish it to “bring down” the Church of Scientology.    David Miscavige, it’s leader, and his minions, are doing a fine job of making it extremely unpopular all on there own without any help from so-called “apostates”.

The cult of Scientology is just one of a myriad of toxic associations that prey on the vulnerable.  I just happen to be one of billions who went on a journey to find a “source” of  “answers” to seemingly unsolvable riddles of life.

The road I took lead me to being entrapped in a cult. But there are many other roads with traps that billions of others have followed to their detriment.  They could all fall under the category of “addictions” whether a group, person, or substance and there are many out there.

I believe that most anyone who reads my story will be able to relate to it no matter their age, gender, occupation, nationality, race or religious beliefs.

And I truly hope that those who do read it will find something of value that can help them bring about a higher quality of life for themselves, those near and dear to them and to the world at large.









I am grateful for all the support from family, friends and associates in finally getting my book published. Now available for purchase through Amazon’s CreateSpace estore (POD) and Amazon (for Kindle and/or POD).

Here’s the blurb on the back cover:

“In a billion years I never thought I’d get involved in a cult, let alone sign a billion year contract with one and stick with it for 37 years.
The most oft questions I have been asked are “Why did you get involved in the first place?” and “What took you so long to finally get out?”
I am confident that you will find the answers to both of these questions and many more in the pages within. This is not just my memoir, but a story that needs to be told of harsh abuse, medical neglect and voracious greed all under the banner of a religion which claims to be saving this planet and the universe. From my early days getting involved in Scientology in Santa Barbara to joining the elite Sea Organization and slaving for pennies a day, there are no stones left unturned. I was a pawn in the Church of Scientology’s money making machine and this is my story.”

The link to purchase the Print on demand (POD) version is:

Here’t the link to purchase the Kindle Version:


My autobiography, “Over the Edge: A Pawn in the Scientology Money Machine”, that has been nearly 2 years in the making, will be released in a week or two.   To say the least, this is quite an accomplishment for me and marks a milestone in my life.

The therapeutic value went well beyond anything I have ever experienced. Further, had I not decided to publish my work, it would have been virtually cost-free.  I could go on and on for pages, covering in detail all that I gained from this one activity.   However, I will keep this on point with the title of this article. If you’d like to delve into this more, you are welcome to read my book and my other blog articles.

One particular revelation that stands out, well beyond any others, is the choices I made were on me.  Once I became of legal age to make my own decisions, everything I did was of my choosing, including decisions I made based on faulty data.  It was on me to do my due diligence and not take anything on faith.  Obviously, I royally blew it!

I chose to get involved in Scientology and gave that organization control of me and my life for 37 years.  I was the one who allowed myself to be manipulated, abused, bullied and neglected. This doesn’t mean that this cult gets off the hook for their part in this.  Just saying, it’s a lesson learned for me and it will be a cold day in hell for me to be taken for a fool again.

Granted back in the mid 70s when I signed up, it was difficult to research extensively, compared to nowadays where you can access information at the drop of a hat on the Internet. Now, even moreso, no one can use the excuse “I didn’t know”.

I’m hoping that my book and blog articles go viral.  Why?  Because a lot of  people in this world need to wake up and take control of their lives if they are ever to be truly free and happy.  Anyone who is any kind of unhealthy, let alone, toxic relationship with anyone or anything, I hope you get this message and act on it.

As for loyal Scientologists and those still involved, but having their doubts,  you owe it to yourself to look, listen and think for yourself.  There’s this thing in Scientology called the “Doubt Formula”.  It very clearly states that you perform this activity “unbiased”.   Further, the Founder, L Ron Hubbard, published the article “On Personal Integrity”, where he states, in so many words, that what is true for you, is true.

Of course, I understand, it takes courage to do this, with the threat of expulsion, being declared a “Suppressive Person” and having all your Scientology affiliations, family included, potentially cut off communication with you.

But get this, you are not committing a “High Crime” but doing your due diligence.  By all rights, do the “Doubt Formula”.  But do it honestly, thoroughly and unbiased.  Yes, this means you will need to go on the Internet, you’ll also need to read some “anti-Scientology” books and articles.  You may even need to talk to several people who left and were declared “Suppressive”.   But guess what, unless you “adhere” or “associate” with these “expelled” people, you really haven’t broken the rules.

So, if your “handler” is making a fuss and threatening you with “expulsion” just because you are exercising your rights and following the rules covered above, note that down in the appropriate column, i.e. “pro” or “con” on your “Doubt Formula”.

Something you may want to consider is that the CofS has near unlimited funds, into the Billions and have a reputation for being litigious. That being said, if all the people who have gone public on Scientology abuses are being liberous or slanderous, where are the lawsuits?

Here is a link to one of my blog articles that I believe will give you further insight.   Note that I wanted to stay and before I met with my “Handler” I was 80% into staying, 20% considering leaving and if I did leave I wasn’t looking to go public on it.  What caused me to flip was the “Handler” not a “Suppressive Person” or the things I read on the Internet.

So it’s your choice, your life, your good, your bad.  It’s on you to take control of your life and do your due diligence.

I hope you take this advice while you still have a chance to make a new life for yourself, out of the restraints of whatever may be holding onto you and causing you stress.

Best, Kay M Rowe