When I commenced my relationship with the Scientology Cult in late 1975, my low opinion of my self worth made me vulnerable.  I was an open slate for a cult to etch whatever wild ideas they chose to on me, thus I took most everything on “faith” and my “gut feeling”.

Surviving 37 years of involvement and finally gaining some objectivity from being on the outside of it, I was able to connect a boatload of dots. There are far too many to cover in any great detail, so I’ll stick with the ones that are most significant. Note: For a more indepth dissertation, please read my “Q&A” blogs, which take up 45 separate points.

All applicants for staff positions were required to take a full battery of tests including, IQ, aptitude, OCA (Oxford Capacity Analysis aka 200 question personality test) and a Leadership Survey.   These not only determined whether or not the person could be hired but also what position they could be placed in if they were accepted.

Executive positions in particular required the scores to be very high on each of the aforementioned tests.   A high Leadership Survey score was especially important.   Why? It weeded out those who could be potential trouble in positions of trust, i.e. those who couldn’t be counted on to always and forever “kiss the ground” at Hubbard’s feet.

Unfortunately, I was in awe of Hubbard, tested high and ended up in more executive positions than I care to mention.

Here’s an example of a few questions to give you a better idea:

4. In managing something is it better to: a. Follow laid down policies closely, b. Develop one’s own procedures, c. Be sensible.  The acceptable answer= a.

7. Can there be a single source for anything? a. yes, b. no, c. uncertain.  Acceptable answer= a.

12. Did Thomas Edison invent the electric lightbulb? a. personally, b. as a member of a team, c. by copying older inventions.  The acceptable answer= a.

13. Should the head of a government rule: a. single-handedly, b. as a member of a council, c. by the will of the people.  Acceptable answer=a.

14. Which one of the following would most help a student? a. the Instructor’s briliance, the Instructor’s helpfulness, c. the Instructor’s insistence.  The acceptable answer= c.

21. When a preclear recovers because of processing, what was the true source of the recovery? a. the Auditor, b. the Preclear, c. Scientology, d. LRH.  The acceptable answer= d.

24. Where did Scientology really come from? a. many people, b. LRH, c. older knowledge. The acceptable answer= b.

25. Is it better to: a. do Scientology, b. improve Scientology, c. find your way carefully. The acceptable answer= a.

26. In applying a definite policy should one: a. use good sense, b. apply it exactly, c. improve it if possible.  The acceptable answer= b.

27. Would it be easier to promote to others if one said Scientology developments were: a. the product of a team, b. developed with your help, c. done by LRH, d. already known. The acceptable answer= c.

30. Should punishment ever be used? a. yes, b. no, c. uncertain. The acceptable answer-a.

Once on the executive post one would be tightly controlled, i.e. each and every time one would step out of line one was disciplined.   The “Art of War”, particurly the anecdote about the chopping off of a commander’s head, was cited many times.  In fact, in one of LRH’s policies on the subject of discipline he uses the phrase “put a head on a pike”. Of course this was not to be taken literally, only used to make the point that whatever the punishment, it would be severe.

Many stepped in line and took extra care to follow all orders so as not to be used as an example.  Others chose the alternative of leaving, some following the procedures to do so and remain in “good standing”, others not.

Those who towed the lined and followed the procedures whether they stayed or left, did so because they were manipulated into beleiving that their eternity depended on them being in “good” with Scientology.  To do otherwise one’s penalty was being banished forever and forfeiting one’s eternal freedom, not to mention being shunned by those in “good” and having one’s communication completely cut off, i.e. disconnection.

It had been my observation that anyone who left in “bad standing” who is in a healthy state of mind, as far as having no concern about their “eternity”, has concluded that Scientology is a fraud.  Of course this is completely contrary to what Hubbard says.  His claim is that anyone who falls away, in particular those who speak out against it,  live miserable lives.  My experience has been quite the opposite, I’m doing better than ever!

In trying to make more sense out of how I stayed in for so long despite the abuse and disappointments, the real “hook” for me was not so much the “teachings”, it was the people.  And to this day, it remains that the goodness of the majority of the people in Scientology is what attracts people to it and what keeps them in.

Many who don’t know the true story of the cult assume that these Scientologists are good, decent people because of their association with and use of Scientology.   That couldn’t be further than the truth.

The fact is most people who are drawn to a religion, self-improvement, etc. are very decent people who unfortunately underestimate their self-worth.   These people were good from the get go.  They didn’t need a lot of fixing, therapy, discipline, punishment, etc, to “set them straight”.

Hubbard even stated himself in Fundamentals of Thought, I believe, that nothing anyone learns in Scientology is new and we all knew it before, just had to be reminded.  So much for Scientology and L Ron Hubbard being the true source of anything good that happens in this world.

Which brings me to another, but final point…

In short Hubbard goes into great detail about the parasitic personality, forewarning adherents to look out for this one, listing the traits.

“What we will call the aberrative personality does the following things:

1. Everything bad that happened to the preclear was (a) ridiculous, (b) unimportant, (c) deserved.

2. Everything the preclear and others did to the aberrative person was (a) very important, (b) very bad, (c) irremediable.

3. Those things which the preclear could do (a) were without real value, (b) were done better by the aberrative personality or by others.

4. Sexual restraint or perversion.

5. Inhibition of eating.”

Here is the link to the full reference:


Clearly the above points describe L Ron Hubbard and David Miscavige.

No need to say more on that.

I am hopeful that some Scientologists will read this and realize, they are responsible for their condition, not just when its bad (which is when they get this shoved in their face by the Scientology cult) but when its good.   Truly they are decent people and have been for a very long time and will remain so with or without Scientology.  If anything, the cult is putting a strain on them maintaining their own basic goodness.